My new family...the extended version

When my father remarried, I not only gained a stepmother but an new extended family as well. Uncle Billy lived in Florida, Aunt Mary and Uncle Chuck had 3 girls, Aunt Judy lived with her daughter, who was a few years older than me and her son was grown. Aunt Helen had a son and daughter, both of whom were a little on the wilder side. As much as I loved my own family and felt slightly guilty, I instantly liked Jo's family. They were fun and odd and larger than either side of my own biological family. Since there were 4 sisters (and a brother who lived far away), there was drama. Who was talking to whom, who's kids were doing well, blah blah blah. And they instantly accepted my sister and me into their family. We were referred to as nieces and never left out of the family functions. They love each other dearly.

As I talked about before, my dad and Joan were accepted and remained in the life of my mom's family. Joan's family was invited to the Thanksgiving and Easter celebrations along with my mom and dad's family. It sounds weird but it really worked. We would all gather at my house for the holidays, with everyone bringing a dish and politely mingling. The first few times were a little odd, but everyone became comfortable with each other. If someone from one side wasn't there, a person from another would ask where they were, how they were doing, etc.

When my Aunt Helen fell sick with breast cancer, I was devastated. I knew how this ended and I felt bad for her children even though they were grown. The family didn't know what they were in for. They did not know about the chemo, radiation, side effects, heartache and loss of a mother, sister, grandmother. Aunt Helen's cancer was different from my mom's. It was more aggressive and spread faster than my mom's. Aunt Helen was older (even though she was still young) when she was diagnosed and had led a lifestyle that was harsher on the body than my mom. But I loved Aunt Helen and didn't want to watch her suffering.

Aunt Helen was blessed with a beautiful baby granddaughter named Kelsea. Kelsea loved her nana and spent a lot of time with her. She lived with her at one point. Kelsea was the joy in Aunt Helen's life. She fought so hard to stay alive for her. I wanted her to be able to see Kelsea grow up- into an elementary schooler, high school graduate and mother herself. But she was not able to hang on. The cancer spread throughout her body and she succumbed to it, surrounded by her sisters. Towards the end, which was inevitable, her sisters gathered at her house. The rest of the family also came by to visit but the sisters were always there. I remember the last time I saw Aunt Helen alive. I knew from previous experience that this was going to be the last time. I said goodbye the best way I could and left the house. She died not long after.

I want to remember Aunt Helen as a laughing and smiling woman. Even though I am in no way, shape or form related to her, I was considered her niece and I considered her my aunt. I received birthday cards and hugs goodbye at the Christmas Eve parties at Aunt Judy's house.

The typical family in America no longer exists. We are comprised of single mothers, gay men or women with children and "stepfamilies". I was blessed with a stepfamily that loves me and is encouraging me to do this Walk. I think of Aunt Helen often. She is buried almost directly behind my own mother in the same cemetary. I visit her whenever I visit Mom and bring her angels for her grave and try and get rid of the weeds in the little garden in front of her plot. I pray for her and hope that she and my mom have met in Heaven. I believe that they are watching over us all and are happy that we have "blended". I walk not only for my mom, my "2nd mom" but also for my Aunt Helen. I love them all.