I will fully admit that I am not the best writer. I just wanted a place to document my journey towards the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer 2009 NYC. I have a mini blog on my donation website but I'd like a place (possibly) where more people may read it.
My first experience with breast cancer goes back as far as I can remember. My mother had a very aggressive form of breast cancer. No she wasn't 60, 50, 40 or even 30 years old. She was diagnosed at age 24. From what my dad has said, no doctor believed her because she was "too young". But she wasn't and her, my father's and my own 4 year old life changed forever. I remember spending excessive amounts of time in doctor's offices, hospitals, eating out of vending machines and holding her garbage can so that she could throw up after chemo. As sick as it sounds, I still use that garbage can in my room to this day. It reminds me of her.
I love Maine. This is because I am nostalgic of the days that my family spent there, laughing and playing in the ocean. These are fantastic memories. My cousins and I had a blast! We rented cabins steps from the ocean and this was our playground. The yearly trip to Maine was a given.
My aunt sent me some pictures recently. One was of my mom in her wheelchair on her last trip to Maine. She was sitting in her wheelchair, turban on her head due to lack of hair, smiling. How did she smile? Her life sucked and it was almost over. But through all of this, she still smiled. I wish I was more like her. Smiling even when life sucks.
Writing, talking more and doing this walk has been therapeutic for me. Even though its been 20 years since she died, I still haven't fully recovered. I'm not sure anyone who loses a parent so young really does. But its been good to let the anger go.
I love you Mom. I'm not angry anymore God.
My first experience with breast cancer goes back as far as I can remember. My mother had a very aggressive form of breast cancer. No she wasn't 60, 50, 40 or even 30 years old. She was diagnosed at age 24. From what my dad has said, no doctor believed her because she was "too young". But she wasn't and her, my father's and my own 4 year old life changed forever. I remember spending excessive amounts of time in doctor's offices, hospitals, eating out of vending machines and holding her garbage can so that she could throw up after chemo. As sick as it sounds, I still use that garbage can in my room to this day. It reminds me of her.
I love Maine. This is because I am nostalgic of the days that my family spent there, laughing and playing in the ocean. These are fantastic memories. My cousins and I had a blast! We rented cabins steps from the ocean and this was our playground. The yearly trip to Maine was a given.
My aunt sent me some pictures recently. One was of my mom in her wheelchair on her last trip to Maine. She was sitting in her wheelchair, turban on her head due to lack of hair, smiling. How did she smile? Her life sucked and it was almost over. But through all of this, she still smiled. I wish I was more like her. Smiling even when life sucks.
Writing, talking more and doing this walk has been therapeutic for me. Even though its been 20 years since she died, I still haven't fully recovered. I'm not sure anyone who loses a parent so young really does. But its been good to let the anger go.
I love you Mom. I'm not angry anymore God.
hello andrea,
ReplyDeletemaine was the shit... cheers to york beach and good times...
eazy- e once said, "mother fuck dre, mother fuck snoop, mother fuck death row..."
i'd like to add, "mother fuck cancer."
holla dolla sen,
e rock $ the 3rd
Anya...
ReplyDeleteI will always remember those times in Maine. It is...I believe...one of my favorite places on Earth! Your mom was truly an inspiration in how she led her life...even when we didn't know it at the time. She taught us a lot and it's amazing the things you learn about yourself when you reflect back. Love you!
I'm so proud of you for undertaking this walk! Good luck!
L
do you realize that you started this on mother's day? A nice tribute...
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